The author decided in her fifties that she wanted to adopt a child She was tired of only having herself to please in her life and felt she could offer a stable home to a child. She had wondered whether she would be accepted as a possible parent at her age but in fact the application process proved fairly straightforward. She was happy to accept a child with some emotional and behavioural problems and in the end she was offered Lauren – a young girl who had already had several foster homes even though she was not yet in her teens.
Many people reading this book would have given up on Lauren because she was incredibly badly behaved – though not all the time. She attacked the author, disappeared for days at a time, ranted and swore at anyone and everyone if she couldn’t do what she wanted and smashed things in the house as well as stealing from her adopted mother. I know I would have given up but the author persisted because she had seen how Lauren – now called Lara – could be when she was all right.
Eventually Lara’s abusive upbringing before she met the author emerged. What the author didn’t know was what was happening to Lara when she disappeared for days on end and re-appeared, dirty, unkempt and usually dressed in clothes which were totally inappropriate for her. She was being abused by a gang of men who were later charged with, tried and convicted of various sexual offences against underage girls. Lara gave evidence against them at the trial as did the author.
This is a harrowing read and one which will give parents nightmares. I have no children but I found it a difficult and uncomfortable read. It also reveals how difficult it can be to deal with Social Services and to get the help you need in such a situation. There were some people who were able to go by the spirit of their regulations rather than the letter of them but they seemed to be few and far between. Even though the author had a great deal of professional experience dealing with the authorities she found it almost impossible to get the help she needed with Lara.
The author and Lara have now moved away from Oxford and started new lives in Wales and I wish them every success and happiness in the future.
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